A roaring 20th edition of Things Discussed at the Brewhaus

It’s kind of hard to believe I've devoted 20 blog posts to random drunken babble, but this post seems a little more relevant, as the venerable and beautiful Brewhaus, located in lovely downtown Springfield, Ill., marked the end of an era this month. 

The legendary, quite threadbare and severely mildewed Brewhaus carpet is no more.  A new, shiny wood floor has been installed in its place.  Yes, a little character was sacrificed to renovation and cleaner air for all. 

Nice and vertical in the front half of the bar ...

Nice an horizontal along the bar ... who says symmetry matters?

First they got some new chairs.  Then, they reupholstered many of the benches and Kryloned the hell out of some tabletops.  What’s next?  Renovated bathrooms?  A reopened kitchen, and the return of the legendary Brewhaus lunch? 

Surely, that’s just crazy talk.

Speaking of crazy talk, here are some of the more curious topics of conversation that have recently transpired:

• Inappropriate uses for a bidet.
• The collected films and literary works of Alan Smithee, the entertainment industry’s most prolific pseudonym.
• How to measure the quality of a good truck stop steak.
• Truck driving music as an under-appreciated sub-genre of country, and why nobody sings truck driving songs anymore.
• An important difference between jail and prison – if you’re going to prison, you’re likely going to lose your security deposit on your apartment.
• Has Viagra put fluffers out of business?
• How beer converted mankind from a hunter-gatherer culture to an agrarian society.
• Why is euthanasia such a depressing topic?
• Muttley and Mumbly – not the same cartoon dog (they’re brothers, in fact). 
• People who have sex acts named after them.
• The proper way for a zoo to show an armadillo in its natural habitat – dead on the side of a highway with tire marks on its back.
• The new Brewhaus floor, now suitable for bowling.  And kudos to the haz-mat unit responsible for the old carpet’s disposal. 

Hopefully, future topics of conversation at the Brewhaus will be as fresh as the new floor ... because they surely won't be as clean.